The Commonwealth of Virginia's Ultimate Blog

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Who's Your Daddy?

Courtesy of, Kathleen Parker has written an emotionally compelling article about the role of fatherhood in our society entitled 'Deleting Dad.'

Parker looks at a recent spate of books and news reports that indicate a disturbing trend for some women to seek the joys of parenthood without the "inconvenience" of choosing a husband. In some cases, women are even choosing the genetic characteristics they want from their sperm donors so as to achieve a certain look in their children. As Parker says, "Techos is winning the war against Eros, and leaving us spiritually poorer for the victory."

Parker goes on to explain how these women, by intentionally depriving their children of a permanent, stable father-figure, are also depriving their children of a relationship that is vital to a natural state of development. One need only take a brief look at our juvenile justice system to understand the impact of fatherless homes on our society.

As Parker concludes:

There's something terribly wrong with this picture, and it is this: These are sad stories that reveal symptoms of a diseased culture in which human relationships have no moral content and children are treated as accessories to adult lives. Yet, these trends are portrayed as the latest gosh-gee fashions.

A society in which women are alone, men are lonely, and children don't have fathers is nothing to celebrate. And a future world filled with fatherless children - bereft of half their identity and robbed of a father's love, discipline and authority - won't likely be a pleasant place to live.

While we can all understand and have compassion for those who are forced into single-parent situations, to intentionally deprive your child of a natural father-child relationship for your own "convenience" is an astoundingly selfish abdication of responsibility.


Blogger the nut said...

So single mom's who, through no fault of their own, are raising boys themselves are to be condemned? And why doesn't the argument ever branch out to encompass daughters without mothers? Is it assumed that dad's are better able to handle raising a girl than mom's are at raising a boy? This also brings up the question of same-sex families: do they need to have a man around for their sons?

Our jails aren't filled with fatherless men (which is essentially hard to prove because statistics can be found to skew it either way), but mostly minority men who don't necessarily get a fair shake in the justice system. Many are in for petty crimes while the white guys are in for more heinous crimes such as rape, murder or grand larceny. It has been proven that black/hispanic men are 3 times more likely to go to jail for the same crime committed by a white man (American History X brings this very idea into mainstream focus).

And perhaps we should take care of women who are single moms by choice or by death/divorce and their children (all of them regardless of gender), helping them out financially so they won't have to work 2 or 3 jobs, thus leaving their kids to their own devices. Maybe it's also because they want children and have decided to stop waiting for Mr. Right to walk through the door.

In my opinion, what makes a young boy into a man is not the fact that he has a Man around to emulate, but that he is taught how to treat all humans with respect. 'Cause lord knows my son's father is useless in helping him out with this idea.

11:13 AM

Blogger Old Zach said...

Your first paragraph proves you didn't even read the post above, or if you did you are merely projecting what you think my argument is onto it.

Nowhere did I say that women who become single mothers through no fault of their own should be condemned. In fact I said the opposite. Nowhere do I exclude fatherless daughters from the argument. Nor did I say anything about excluding motherless children from the argument. Rather I was responding to the linked article which was focusing specifically on fatherless children.

Your "evidence" based on a movie is pretty weak. I fact, you will find that our jails ARE filled with individuals, both black and white, who come from largely broken homes. These are homes where one or both parents are absent either physically or mentally (through drug or alcohol abuse, or other problems).

Finally you have over-simplified the argument to simply "having a man in the house" being sufficient. That is not what is being advocated. Being a father figure means much more than simply being present. Your argument does nothing to dispute the fact that having both a mother and a father engaged in the development of a child is the natural and optimal condition for that child.

2:50 PM


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