The Commonwealth of Virginia's Ultimate Blog

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Saint Valentine Is No Friend Of Mine

I'll keep this rant brief, but suffice it to say that today marks the worst holiday ever conceived by humankind. Even worse than Arbor Day.

Valentines Day is nothing more than a vast conspiracy by the merchandisers of chocolates, flowers, greeting cards and teddy bears to make husbands and boyfriends feel guilted into spending ungodly sums of money on frivolities. V-Day also makes single folks feel like social pariahs by parading everyone else's happiness in front of them in a ritual shaming.

Not that I'm bitter or anything, but I think I'll spend the evening wearing black, watching Carrie, and listening to She Hates Me on repeat.


Anonymous The Voice Of NAW said...

That is only because you and everyone else has the wrong idea about Valentines Day. Yes He is is the Patron Saint of Lovers but he is also, and I think more importantly the Patron Saint of LOVE. And while Marrige is something to be shared between a man and a woman LOVE certainly is not. I Love my Family, I Love my Country, I Love my Guy friends, I Love plenty of girls I never have nor ever would be in a relationship with, and Most importantly, just like Saint Valentine, I Love my God. So do not spend Valentines day in sadness because you have no one to call a mate. Spend Valentines day in happiness because of all the people you do LOVE and that LOVE you back. Go out and tell people that you love them. Go tell your mothers and your fathers, tell your sisters and your brothers, tell your best friends, and tell people that you know do not hear the words I love you enough. Go out and show that you have Love for everyone. Through that love you will show people how much you love God and how much God can love them.

1:00 PM

Blogger Old Zach said...

You're right. I don't really hate Valentines Day, I just like criticizing our materialistic and empty pleasure-seeking culture. Maybe you should be writing this blog and not me.

3:21 PM

Blogger Robert said...

The story of St. Valentine is a particularly interesting one. During the formative years of Roman Christianity, the (pagan) Roman emperor started looking for a way to increase enlistments. He was engaged in several foreign wars and was having trouble recruiting enough soldiers. Instead of sending recruiters to Harvard, however, he came up with a brilliant idea: ban marriage.

This actually made some sense. Married men are reluctant to leave their wives and are far less likely to enlist. The new law didn't jibe very well with the teachings of a fledgling church, however, so many priests, including Valentine, performed illegal secret marriages. Eventually, these "back-alley" marriages became so popular that the government relented and legalized marriage once again. In the meantime, however, Valentine was indicted, convicted, and executed for defending marriage against the government.

5:04 PM

Anonymous The Ghost of Tom Joad said...

I have a huge screed on this topic on my blog...basically Valentine's Day is no good to anyone!

10:30 PM

Anonymous David said...

That's absolutely shocking! I thought (or so we've been told by certain elements of the nanny state) that marriage is a timeless, sacred institution that has always existed in it's present form since the Very Beginning of Time.

Whatever shall we make of this information? Facts are such inconvenient things.

5:47 PM


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